Doing good effortlessly and becoming a better version of yourself
- in just 66 days -
Doing good
Everyone does it from time to time. Some just more often and more consciously than others. But why do we actually do it? Research shows that it is in human nature to do good and that we also do it for ourselves. Not to show how good we are, but because, among other things, it makes us happier, wiser, and healthier. So while doing good it enriches the world around you as well as yourself!
Start giving a Damn
We aim inspires you to take the initiative every day to do a little good yourself. You get practical tips and the probing questions help you effortlessly do good even more consciously.
We challenge you to do good for 66 days until your behaviour has become a habit and you also become a better version of yourself.
Index
START GIVING A DAMN IN 66 DAYS - PREFACE
Doing good is of all times. This is not just a gesture as we have come to think of today. It has been a survival strategy from ancient times. After all, we need each other. Now perhaps more than ever. Good news because ‘doing good’ is part of human nature. That's a fact. Some do it very consciously, others perhaps less so, but from a good heart. There is a good reason why entire cultures are built on this principle.
Caring for each other, with our busy schedules, we sometimes forget. Yet it is easier than you think and often takes much less effort than you expect. More importantly, it offers so much more than you can probably imagine at this point. Not only for someone else, but also for yourself. In this book we’re going to explain how you can effortlessly translate your innate talent of doing good based on compassion and empathy into everyday actions. Because every gesture, no matter how small, is what matters.
We would like to help you realise how important doing good is to those around you and to yourself and that it is much more than an occasional donation to charity. By consciously doing good you help more people and you will experience more joy in life, less stress, and even a richer social life. Who knows, it might even help you in your business career.
We challenge you with insights, personal questions, and various tips for 66 days to consciously do good. Start giving a damn and become a better version of yourself.
INTRODUCTION
One day an old man walked wearily into a restaurant. He was thin, with a sunken face and shabby clothes. Slowly he shuffled to a table by the window.
One of the young waitresses, whose name was Anne, had just heard that morning that she had to move out of her apartment after months of being behind on her rent. When she saw the old man come in, she forgot her problems for a moment. She walked up to him quickly, introduced herself nicely, and said, "Let me help you". She took his worn coat and helped him sit down. She made sure his chair was adjusted and put his cane within easy reach and brought his ordered cup of coffee with warm apple pie to which she added a little extra whipped cream.
After the old man had paid, the waitress helped him up, handed him his cane, and held the door open for him, saying a friendly goodbye. Just before the door closed behind him, the old man turned around and said: "Thank you Anne, you are very kind".
Anne walked over to the table and grabbed the money. Under the plate was a business card and under the napkin, she found 500 dollars.
On the napkin was the following text:
"Dear Anne, I respect you very much." The way you treat others is wonderful. You possess the secret of happiness. Your presence gives light to others.
Your boss."
And that was the first time the workers in the restaurant had seen the owner.
The law of nature
It is a law of nature that you will always become better by doing good yourself. But only if you actually don't expect anything in return. We can do good in the form of doing or saying something nice or in the form of financial help. But whatever we do, somehow it always pays off.
Doing good and benefiting ourselves is about compassion, empathy, and the win-win principle. We really don't all have to become like Mother Theresa or Gandhi to live by this philosophy. Consciously doing good with positive intentions without expecting anything in return is proven to make a person happier, healthier, and more prosperous. In addition, it contributes to a more loving, peaceful society.
This book explains why it makes sense to start giving a damn. We explain why it is good for others, what benefits "doing good" will bring you, and why this is always applicable to everyone.
Doing good is inherently in our genes, but sometimes the delusion of the day causes us to occasionally forget. Perhaps also because it no longer seems that necessary. But current issues such as the hardening of society, polarisation, and conflicts can also tempt us to put our own interests first.
Is this book a plea to donate even more or more often and take every homeless person you meet under your wing? No! Nor does it require you to wish everyone you pass on the street Namasté like an enlightened guru. The doing good that really matters is in the little things and subtle gestures. The more often we do good and the more people "do good," the better off we all will be. Imagine if we really all applied this principle of 'Doing Good' on a daily basis. Then perhaps there would be no more hungry children, lonely people, or troubled homeless people at all. Truly everyone can live a happier and richer life simply by doing good.
Perhaps you already donate to charity on a monthly basis. There are many people who routinely donate a percentage of their income to charities. In some cases that involves large sums of money, but that is not the "doing good" this book is about. Donating is just one part of doing good. It is a form of indirectly doing something. You give money and then it is literally out of your hands. You no longer have any control over what happens to it, who benefits from it, or whether it actually ends up in a good place. The world of doing good is much richer. Especially when you begin to realise that you yourself will also benefit.
The funny thing is, everyone is born with ‘a doing good’ gene. We just unlearn it as we age rather than master it. So all you really have to do is become aware of it again and reapply it in your daily life. Then you will naturally start experiencing all the benefits that come with it. Benefits that you can notice immediately but that will also give your life a positive spin in the long run. Thus, all aspects of your life will get more lustre. It not only gives you a boost in your private life but also in your business or career.
A well-known saying goes:
If you want to be happy
You have to sleep an hour
Go fishing for a day
Be married for a month
Inherit a fortune for a year
Doing good for a lifetime
You can philosophise about the first four statements for hours with a good glass of wine, but the last one is more than true. Now we hear you think: Yes, but selfishly minded people can be filthy rich and happy, can't they? This is true in a sense, but still, it's not quite right. It is a bit like someone who is intentionally childless saying that he can love children as much as a parent.
After all, people who are selfish-minded can say they are happy, but science shows that people who do good for others are really much happier and even healthier after all. A selfish person can accumulate as much and sometimes even more wealth as someone who always does good. It just takes significantly more energy to get and maintain this wealth than when doing good is very normal and part of your daily life.
Are people by nature more altruistic or selfish?
Since the dawn of time, there has been a debate between those who believe that humans are naturally more altruistic and those who believe that humans are rather selfish or something in the middle. Recent research finally answers this question.
Based on several studies, we already know that toddlers of about a year old behave altruistically by nature. One of the most famous studies is the one in which infants were offered something tasty to eat, while these children saw that another infant received nothing. Even though sharing meant they were left with little themselves, they were still willing to share, out of the most primal form of compassion and empathy. This proves that from an early age, we are more likely to choose altruism. Studies like this are repeated over and over again in different ways with the same result each time.
What is this really like in adults? How are we influenced by certain situations? It has been conclusively proven that in life-threatening situations, most people choose self-first. We know this, for example, from recordings of aeroplane disasters and witnesses of violent accidents involving other vehicles such as ships. This teaches us that selfishness is a primal instinct to help us survive in acute emergencies where our lives are at stake. This just does not yet tell us anything about whether we are naturally more likely to be selfish or altruistic in our daily lives without serious threats.
Over the past several decades, as many as seven studies have been done examining 2068 participants to find out if our first instinct is altruistic or egoistic. They examined whether, in a non-life-threatening situation, the time a person has to think about their approach has any influence on behaviour and choices. Time and again, extraordinary data came out of this.
It turned out that in difficult choices where an egoistic or altruistic approach was forced, time played a crucial role. If the people in the test group were given less than 10 seconds to make a choice, compassion and empathy prevailed and an altruistic approach was chosen almost without exception, where a win-win situation would arise. Given more than 10 seconds, the egoistic approach was preferred.
These results are not only unique to humans. We also see altruistic behaviour in animals.
In a frequently repeated study, researchers put two orangutans in separate cages while they could see each other. Then one was given something to eat that was not very tasty and the other was given something that was actually very tasty. The result was not only that the orangutan who got something not so tasty reacted in frustration, but also that the tasty food was shared selflessly by others. So again, studies like this show that doing good is an ingrained primal instinct.
SMALL QUESTION:
This book is about turning what you already know into action. Are you ready to start today and invoke your altruistic primal instinct to do (even more) good? Or do you want to wait until you've read more and realise even better what it will do for you?
What could you consciously do for another person today from an altruistic mind? In the end is a list of suggestions.
Doing good within ancient civilizations and religions
All kinds of interesting facts are known about ancient civilizations and religions, but what do we know about their sense of altruism? Studies show that doing good was an anchor within many ancient civilizations and religions around the world.
One of the oldest scriptures in the world
In ancient India, the rules of conduct were based on the so-called Vedas. One of the oldest scriptures in the world written many centuries before our era. These Hindu writings in Sanskrit are called Vedas, which freely translated means knowledge or wisdom. Even those scriptures described how doing good for another also enriches yourself. According to some, these texts even laid the foundation for today's medicine, acupuncture, and much more. No wonder they are recited even today in many yoga classes.
Rig veda: 1/90/7:-
Do such work in the world by which everyone will enjoy happiness, peace, and cheerfulness.
Rig veda:1/47/3:-
One should not be afraid of slander, stigmatisation, ridicule, etc. in works for others' welfare. God Himself protects such people. Therefore, free from all worries, one should get involved in activities for the welfare of people.
Atharva veda: 17/1/29:-
Human life will be saved only by good deeds and religious behaviour. Therefore, let us be sinless and praiseworthy and always continue to acquire higher knowledge.
SMALL QUESTION:
What good deed of yours has already directly or indirectly brought happiness and joy to others?
Ubuntu and doing good
In many places in Africa, people still live in the ancient conviction that you become or are someone because of others. Africans call this Ubuntu. Ubuntu followers are open to others and helpful.
If someone acts irresponsibly or badly or contributes to the community in a negative way, there is an ancient tradition to resolve it. Africans who adhere to Ubuntu in fact believe that everyone naturally has a good and warm heart, that is, naturally wants to do good.
If the opposite is shown, he is placed in the middle of the village among all the men, women, and children. Taking turns, each member of the tribe speaks to him and tells of his good qualities and deeds. During this ceremony, no one is allowed to exaggerate, make up stories or be sarcastic and, according to them, it helps the person become his natural self again. Through the ceremony, the person in the middle is reminded of the love within him and can reconnect with the people around him.
After this ceremony, therefore, the tribal member is symbolically welcomed back into the tribe.
SMALL QUESTION:
Do you know someone who has misbehaved and actually deserves a compliment from you according to Ubuntu philosophy? What good qualities does this person possess and what good deeds has the person done besides misbehaving?
Religions and doing good
Ubuntu does not stand by itself. There are examples all over the world where the culture revolves around giving a helping hand and doing good for others. For example, also among the Hopi Indians, in the northeastern state of Arizona in America. They have no mutual competition or self-assertion based on what you own or can do. The Hopi way of life is based on humility, cooperation, respect, as well as universal stewardship of the earth. In fact, living in harmony with all creation and having goodness in your heart is the purpose of existence for the Hopi.
But today, prosocial helping behaviour and altruism are mostly associated with religious movements. Currently, the larger religions are Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. For centuries, all of their writings and those of many other religions have been very clear about the importance of doing good.
For example, Christianity says:
Have in mind not only your own interests but also the interests of others.
Bear one another's burdens, thus living the law of Christ.
Love one another with the heartfelt love of brothers and sisters, esteeming others higher than yourselves.
Judaism, for example, says:
Open your hand generously, and give [your needy brother] all the credit he needs to meet his needs.
There must be no evidence of poverty, false thrift or skimping when building a house dedicated to God's Torah. Yet this should never be at the expense of other charitable works, nor denying connection to those of lesser means.
This is why we are commanded, "Do what is right and good in God's eyes".
Islam, for example, says:
Allah has promised those who believe and do good deeds that for them is forgiveness and a great reward.
Every deed of the son of Adam is multiplied ten to seven hundred times. Allah the Exalted says: Except fasting, for that is done for My sake and I will reward it.
Whoever does good deeds, male or female, and he believes: to him We grant a good life. And (in the Hereafter) We shall reward them with their reward, according to the best of what they used to do.
SMALL QUESTION:
In what ways do you have compassion and empathy for others and how does this translate to your behaviour?
Conclusion
It is clear, both in recent research and in writings thousands of years old, that doing good appears to be in our nature. On the contrary, it seems to be a conscious choice or learned to behave selfishly or rarely to do something good for someone. Why has this been an important issue for centuries and what does it really do for yourself and society? In the following chapters, you will discover what exactly is the benefit to you, how this benefit is collective, and how it can manifest. Are you ready? We almost are, but before we get to that point, it's important to elaborate on the concept of doing good. Because doing good has many different appearances.
CHAPTER 1. THE 4 WAYS OF DOING GOOD
One day father and son went out with a donkey. Father wanted to walk and put his son on the donkey's back. So they went on their way until they came across people who said, “See there the world upside down. That healthy boy is sitting quietly on the donkey, while his poor, tired father is barely making headway.”
The boy heard this, was embarrassed, and stepped off. He wanted his father to continue riding the donkey. Thus they walked on. A moment later they heard, "Look at that. What a degenerate father, who himself sits nicely on the donkey and lets his child walk.”
After this reproach, the son said, "Come, let us ride the donkey together. So they continued on their way until they came across people who said, 'Look, that poor beast. Its back is sagging under the weight of both of them, what animal torturers.”
To this, the boy said, “Let's both go on foot, then no one can blame us.” So they walked on behind their donkey. Until passersby commented, 'See these fools. They are walking in the burning sun and neither of them thinks of sitting on the donkey.
Doing good is an incredibly broad concept. But it starts with the right intention and compassion and empathy for others. Nothing or no one except your own heart can determine for you whether what you are doing is "doing good" or not or for whom you have empathy and compassion.
There are many disasters and conflicts in the world and fortunately, many people donate to the victims. Especially in conflicts, media, and governments sometimes choose to highlight only 1 side of the story while the other side gets no right to speak. So how do we know if we are doing good by having compassion for only 1 'side'? After all, we can't know what we don't know. Follow your heart and don't condemn anyone who makes a different choice than you. That's where giving a damn and doing good starts.
Nor are we trying to persuade you to fly packed with malaria nets and food packages on the first plane to a third-world country or donate millions. Because doing good exists in many forms. Everyone has something to offer another and whatever you are able to share from a good heart and with empathy and compassion is a way of doing good.
So what’s doing good?
It may be clear to you by now that "doing good" is primarily about the selflessness behind the intention. So doing something to show others how good you are doing is not really doing good at all. It is not about the other person; it is only about you. The core of every form of doing good revolves around selflessness. In other words, you really don't have to get anything in return. Practice will prove that this intention actually gets you a lot in return. Are you still following? We'll explain this in more detail later.
SMALL QUESTION:
What was your last selfless deed with which you helped someone?
There are four basic categories into which doing good can be divided
Doing good in the material sense
Doing good in the physical sense
Doing good in the verbal sense
A combination of the above
Doing good in a material sense
For many, this is the most familiar and obvious way of doing good and consists of making financial donations or goods. For example, to a charity. Also offering clothes to a collection point or donating money or food to a homeless person.
Some people or companies go a step further. For example, because they want to keep a closer eye on whether donations really reach the right place and the right people, they set up their own foundation. Often to build schools or clinics or support deprived areas in other ways.
Doing good in a material sense can be a huge asset to the person being helped, but in most cases has the least impact on becoming a better version of yourself. Especially if you donate monthly via direct debit, for example. Part of the reason for this is that, despite the nice gesture, it is no longer a conscious act. How exactly this works will become more clear to you later.
SMALL QUESTION:
What is the smallest thing you own that you don't really need and could make another person very happy?
Doing good in the physical sense
Doing good in the physical sense is about physically contributing something to another person's well-being or prosperity. Helping someone move house or helping an old woman cross the street are forms of physical doing good. Think also of something as small as putting your arm around someone in need of comfort to unsolicited cleaning up of dirty dishes from co-workers.
Other forms of physical doing good include; Working as a volunteer where you selflessly give your time, strength, and attention to, for example, a foundation, the local sports club, or another group of people who depend on volunteers. Training the youngest soccer talents on Saturday mornings, driving elderly local residents to appointments, or running errands for your neighbour who has broken his leg are also all forms of physical doing good. These ways of doing good can be met with a very large amount of gratitude and have a large positive spin-off in both the short and long term on becoming a better version of yourself.
SMALL QUESTION:
What talents and skills do you possess that you can almost effortlessly offer to another person? Are you a sweet cuddler, a strong guy, or do you master a skill with which you can easily help or support others?
Doing good in a verbal sense
You really don't have to be able to talk like a jack of all trades. It is a form of doing good that everyone masters but does not always apply. In its simplest and purest form, it is about giving a compliment, encouraging someone, but also offering a listening ear to those who need it. Even a friendly greeting to a stranger you pass on the street can be a good deed that makes a difference to someone.
It is not easy in every situation for everyone to find the right words when it comes to a compliment or giving comfort. But no matter what you say, if you do it with enough compassion and empathy, this will always be a way of doing good that will have a huge positive impact on another person and yourself.
In addition, unlike doing good physically or materially, it is something you have an inexhaustible resource to share and something you always carry with you.
SMALL QUESTION:
On whom can you make a huge positive impact inside or outside your community with your uplifting, reassuring, comforting, or complimentary words?
A combination of the above
If you work the bar service every Saturday at your favourite sports club and lend a sympathetic ear to the booed referee, as well as helping to support the club's finances, you are combining all three forms of doing good. But you can do the same, of course, at the animal shelter or a homeless shelter. In the latter case, you can offer a listening ear to people who are forced to spend the night there and offer one or more of them a breakfast or cup of coffee the next day.
SMALL QUESTION:
What is something that you have considered, but never put into action as part of doing your part to make the world a better place? What stopped or keeps you from doing it yet?
Father and son are walking in the woods. Suddenly, the boy trips and, feeling pain, he cries out, "Ahhhh." Surprised, he hears a voice from the mountains shouting, "Ahhhh." Full of curiosity, he shouts, "Who are you?" and he receives the reply, "Who are you?" He gets angry and shouts, "You are a coward" to which the voice replies, "You are a coward."
Questioningly, the boy looks at his father. The man says, "Son, pay attention" and shouts, "I admire you." The voice replies, "I admire you."
Father: "You are beautiful" and the voice: "You are beautiful" The boy is puzzled, but still does not understand.
At that, the father explains: "People call this echo, but in fact this is life... Life always gives you back what you put into it. Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love! If you want more kindness, give more kindness!"
SMALL QUESTION:
Which is more prevalent in your life? Your positivity in words and thoughts or your negative words and thoughts about and toward others? What does that bring you?
Conclusion
There are literally and figuratively thousands of forms of doing good that can be imagined. The output is often income, status, location, and mental and physical condition dependent for the "good doer". Yet truly everyone can find a way of doing good and apply it in his or her daily life. Actually, not doing good naturally means turning down a bit of "free" happiness and prosperity or well-being for others and yourself. This does not immediately make you an egoist but admit it, that is actually selling yourself short as well.
Doing good will do you good
Chapter 2. 10 positive effects of doing good
Start giving a damn and doing good always produces something positive. For yourself, too. Below are the top 10. Some of the effects that impact your life manifest immediately, others at a later time. Doing good pays off. Always.
Better mental health
In 2011, Daniel George conducted a study in Ohio, America, with elderly people suffering from mild to moderate dementia. Half of the adults spent an hour every fortnight helping young schoolchildren with reading, writing and history lessons. The other half (the control group) were instructed not to volunteer. After five months, it was found that the adults who volunteered had less stress than those who did not. In addition, among the volunteers, feelings of loneliness had decreased and even memory had improved.
Of course, you can exercise and meditate to reduce your stress levels. You can also resolve to never be stressed again, although the latter is unfortunately wishful thinking for anyone who is not an advanced Yogi. It certainly helps and exercising is nice but did you know that doing good is in direct relation to increasing your feel-good hormones like Serotonin, Dopamine, and Oxytocin. In addition, it also reduces your Cortisol levels (stress hormones).
Studies with an MRI scan show that the brain's "reward system" is activated when subjects are doing good. Exactly in the same way as when they receive something themselves. How extraordinary is that and you don't even have to sweat for it.
Another effect that doing good has on your mental health is less quantitatively measurable, but there is strong evidence of it. Research shows that people who volunteer or regularly do good for others without wanting anything in return experience a deeper sense of purpose. They are more satisfied with their lives and experience less anxiety and feelings of depression.
An important side effect of having enough of these "feel-good hormones" is that you can cope better with adversity and thus become more resilient. Resilient people can still see a bright spot out of the darkest tunnel and are better able to put setbacks into perspective. They are therefore automatically more positive in life and can enjoy it more.
Better physical health
Because doing good increases Serotonin, Dopamine, and Oxytocin levels and reduces the stress hormone Cortisol, your blood pressure goes down and the risk of heart failure is smaller.
You can choose from numerous ways of doing good that consist of physical activities that will get you moving more. This really is easier than you think, taking a walk around the block with the neighbour's dog, mowing the lawn for a family member, or shopping for the neighbourhood barbecue. Before you know it, you'll be outside more and getting in better shape, too.
Researchers asked 52 high school students in Canada to volunteer once a week and help younger students with their homework, sports, and other after-school activities. A control group of 54 students did not volunteer during the same period.
The researchers took blood samples from both groups and measured their BMI (body mass index) before and after the study. The blood samples were used to measure biomarkers that predict whether a person is likely to develop cardiovascular disease. At the end of the study, the students who volunteered had a greater reduction in all biomarkers associated with cardiovascular disease than the adolescents in the control group. In the process, they also lost more weight.
Richer social life.
Doing good increases your chances of connecting with new people, allowing you to enrich your social network. Consider, for example, bar duty at the local sports club or picking up litter with a group of volunteers.
Researchers at Oxford University are known for the world's longest-running research on happiness. For more than 75 years, they followed then-newborn babies and asked about things like happiness, love, contentment, and fun. Some chose an existence as homeless, others became successful accountants and one even became president. So people from all walks of life.
Now it was expected that people who smoked, drank, or had other unhealthy lifestyles would die sooner or be unhappier, but the opposite was true. A rich social life turned out to be decisive for how happy a person is, which in turn is related to how old a person gets.
In order to have healthy social contacts, it is crucial to have a positive attitude to life and to be willing to do something for each other out of compassion and empathy. In fact, we naturally prefer to be in contact with someone who is positive and happy than with someone who is sombre and negative.
The father of a wealthy family decided one day to show his son how rich they were and how very poor other people could be. So they stayed for a few days on a farm from which the family could just barely make ends meet. When they drove back home after those few days, the father asked what his son had thought of it and if he had discovered how poor people could be.
His son said, "Yes, father, I saw that they have four dogs and we have only one. I also saw that they have a stream that runs through to the horizon and we have a small pond that only runs halfway up the driveway. We use lanterns at home while they can look at the stars all night and our property extends to the road while their property extends beyond the horizon. We have servants to take care of us while they take care of others and we have walls around our estate to protect us while they have others to feel safe." The father was silent with amazement as his son said, "Thank you father for making me see how poor we really are."
SMALL QUESTION:
How rich or poor are you really and what do you measure it by? Are you rich in possessions or in social contacts?
Enriching your knowledge and wisdom
Especially when it comes to doing good physically or mentally, chances are you will encounter or work with people who have knowledge or wisdom that you do not yet possess. Caring for a sick person gives you insight into how someone is coping with their illness, visiting a lonely elderly person gives you insight into what true loneliness is, and accompanying terminally ill children can evoke a greater sense of gratitude for what you do have. All of these examples irrevocably make you more aware of what you have and teach you not to take life for granted. Gifts you get right back by doing good.
SMALL QUESTION:
Which people within your environment do you learn the most from and what else would you like to learn from other people?
More purpose in life
Meaningfulness is contributing to a bigger picture than yourself of which you are a part yourself. This may sound a little corny to some, but purpose is important to everyone. Pay attention. Because no matter what you or we believe we are here on earth, one thing is certain, we are not here just for ourselves.
Doing good increases your sense of purpose and also increases your self-esteem. After all, we get affirmation that we are useful and of value.
Dealing with or caring for people less fortunate than ourselves in any way gives us a sense of humbility and makes us appreciate what we do have. It opens your eyes to what life is really about. Namely caring for one another.
SMALL QUESTION:
Everything you give attention to grows. Where does your attention go on a daily basis? Is it your job, your partner or children, your worries about the future, or your social media account? How conscious are you of your environment and your caring toward others?
A more social society
Research shows that doing good is contagious. After seeing someone doing something good, people are more likely to do something good themselves. Tell me, you get excited when you hear a nice story from someone who did a playful, kind or generous thing for someone else, don't you? Especially when the person tells you with great enthusiasm about the positive effect it has, you are probably curious about how you too can do something for someone else. No wonder doing good creates the well-known snowball effect and makes society a lot more social.
This is also the reason why you often do not have to expect anything in return from the same person you did something for. Remember? Doing good is doing something without expectation. What we mean is that within the community there will always be people who, in turn, will gladly do something good for you. Even or perhaps especially if you didn't ask for it at all.
SMALL QUESTION:
How often have you, unexpectedly just when you needed it, received something from someone and how did it feel? Maybe it was a tip, a compliment, or a gift. For whom might you unexpectedly or spontaneously do the same thing?
More prosperity
People who regularly do something good for another are more likely to be liked than people with a more self-centred attitude to life. We simply favour positive and kind people more.
Whether it's a new job or a good business deal, this goodwill factor plays a big role in many cases. Therefore, more prosperity actually comes naturally to you to some extent by doing good.
SMALL QUESTION:
Do you have a goodwill factor? If not, what could you do about this or could you avoid doing?
Better leadership
One of the most valued and effective qualities of a leader is doing good. This can range from something as small as giving a compliment to visiting a sick employee. It is seen as a sign of generosity, compassion, empathy, and caring that makes employees feel more valued. They will be more committed and more likely to use or develop their talents.
Leadership, of course, is not only necessary in the workplace, but also within your personal environment. Think about managing your family or organising a party or setting up a fundraiser.
SMALL QUESTION:
Imagine yourself as a leader. What kind of leader are you and how does someone perceive that about you?
Greater business success
Even as an entrepreneur, you can do a lot of good and you will usually be richly rewarded for it. For example, in the form of the loyalty and dedication of employees or a positive image. Something that, of course, by definition contributes to more business success.
When Philips established itself in 1891 in the then small city of Eindhoven in southern Holland, the lamp manufacturer quickly became successful. The problem, however, was finding employees, and if they were found at all, there had to be a reason to stay. Therefore, in addition to more than reasonable compensation for work, Philips decided to build housing and lavish the residential neighbourhoods with greenery, various stores, schools, and a recreational park.
Philips could have made do with simple cottages to retain employees, yet the promoter decided to provide all cottages with running water, a connection to the sewer system, and electricity. Something that was by no means standard at the time.
By doing good, Philips created a pool of very loyal employees and by now Eindhoven's nickname has become "the city of lights." Because if 1 company puts the city and its people in the light, it is Philips.
Another well-known benefactor was Henry Ford. Not only did he pay the -for then- astronomical amount of $5 an hour, but he was also the first to introduce the 40-hour work week as we know it today.
SMALL QUESTION:
What else could your company, the company you work for, or the company you know do good? What can you do to get them to do that?
Meaningful profit in practice
In 2011, Wassili Zafiris and Ben Steenstra introduced the term meaningful profit. The essence of their book is about how no one is made to only take or only give. The two go hand in hand in business. We have come to see the profit sector as a money machine and the non-profit as a money-giving institution. But the term profit literally means benefitting, and money or money gained is only a part of that.
If you want to profit from something, let it at least be meaningful. Pursuing meaningful profit is about, for example, a pleasant work environment, talent development, being good to society, the environment, and much more.
A meaningful profit enterprise means being able to earn revenue while doing good. Everyone benefits from that.
SMALL QUESTION:
What meaningful profit do you pursue in your life? What is important to you when it comes to yourself, others, and the world?
Chapter 3. The mindset to do good
Our mindset and convictions play an important role when it comes to doing good. Therefore, to make doing good a habit, it is important to be aware of your own limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are truths that are true for you but have little or nothing to do with reality. In fact, it is usually your negative perception of reality that stops you from doing something.
Below you will read about the mindset that can help you turn what you now know about doing good into everyday actions.
Doing good as a status symbol
Doing good is not done for your own ego. For example, using doing good as a status symbol is in a sense just as selfish as doing good to show others what a compassionate person you are. In that case, you are really only doing it for your self-image and persona. What happens then is that you put a lot of energy into others and rarely, if ever, get anything in return. Except for a distorted self-image and you don't buy anything for that.
This is not to say that you need to hide what you do from others, as long as you do it with the right intention. Namely doing good because it is in your nature. You will find that you then get exactly what you don't expect.
SMALL QUESTION:
Have you ever done something good without others knowing about it?
I don't even have enough myself
An important belief that plays into whether or not you naturally do good is living in abundance or too little. Do you believe that you will always have enough to be able to share, or are you always short in terms of food, drink, shelter, income, or possessions, for example?
People who believe they have or will have enough are more likely to share some of their money, possessions, time, or knowledge. In part, this has to do with contentment and gratitude. They appreciate what they already do and are not too attached to matter.
But people who live with the belief in abundance also realise that the least they can share is their knowledge, attention, and love. After all, they always have enough of that and when you share that, you don't lose it, it multiplies.
Maslow's pyramid
Maslow's pyramid suggests that you must first fulfil all your own needs such as food, drink, sleep, a safe haven, and close friendships before you can be open to doing good for others. This is true when we are stressed about this. But even that, in most cases, is just a limiting belief.
Of course, doing good is not the first thing that comes to mind when you are nearly starving to death or living in a war zone. Fortunately, most people do not live under these kinds of circumstances. Besides, the past has shown that even under those circumstances there are people who do good for others. Consider the people who sheltered people in hiding during World War II when they themselves barely had food to eat.
SMALL QUESTION:
Do you live in abundance or shortages and what can you share without losing it, while by sharing it multiplies immediately?
What I can contribute doesn’t matter
People who naturally like to give and give often realise very well that they cannot improve the world on their own, but they also realise that every little bit helps. From giving a compliment and holding a door open for another to donating millions. Every little bit together makes the world a little more beautiful.
On a beach full of starfish, a little girl was working to return them one by one to the sea. A man passed by and marvelled at her eagerness. He asked, "Dear girl, what are you doing?"
The girl replied, "I am saving starfish!" To which the man said, "But there are so many of them, it won't make any difference, will it?"
The girl bent down and picked up another starfish. As she threw it back into the sea she said, "For this one, though..."
SMALL QUESTION:
Have you ever thrown a small stone into a pond as a child and seen those beautiful ripples appear? Have you ever done something small for someone as an adult and seen the same effect? If the answer is no, will you dig deeper and longer into your memories until you remember again and your answer is a resounding yes?
The world revolves solely around myself
A wealthy businessman was driving in his brand new BMW through a poor neighbourhood where several children were playing in the street. When he saw something moving he gradually slowed down, but as he passed a couple of parked cars, a stone was suddenly thrown against his door.
Abruptly he stopped his car, got out and just barely managed to grab the young brat who threw the stone by his collar. "What do you think you just did!" roared the businessman. "That's going to cost you money, boy." "And a lot too!" he continued.
The young boy was visibly affected and tears rolled down his cheeks. He sobbed, "Sorry sir, but I didn't know how else to get your attention." Look over there. There lies my little brother. He fell out of his wheelchair and is too heavy for me to lift".
The businessman saw the brother lying injured on the ground and now got a lump in his throat. He lifted the boy back into his wheelchair and watched in silence as the younger brother pushed his older brother home.
Back in his car, he decided never to let the damage be repaired. It would become a permanent reminder never to go through life that way again, that someone had to throw a rock to earn his attention.
In the hectic pace of the day, we can easily forget that there is more to life than a job, food, and a little leisure time. Of course, we can feel that we are very busy. Only a very few people speak the truth in this regard. Consider, for example, the single mother with 3 children and 2 jobs, and a complete household to run. She has quite a right to speak. Usually being "too busy" to do good is a matter of prioritising. The art of prioritising is to make something important.
People who like to do good often prioritise not only themselves but also consider the well-being of others important. They see the bum on their street who may not have eaten for a day, look the person in the eye, and consciously ask themselves what must be going on in that person. They also delve into what is going on in the world. For example, more than 5.5 million children under the age of 5 die of hunger every year. That's 15,000 a day.
In addition, they realise that doing good really doesn't always take time or energy. It requires attention in the first place so that it becomes a priority. After all, how much time does a friendly greeting or a compliment take?
SMALL QUESTION:
What would you like to prioritise more? Something you care about but don't think about every day. What good deeds could this lead to?
I already do enough for others
Fortunately, we live in a world where a great many people already do good to a greater or lesser extent. In fact, there are very few people who have never done anything good for another person. Even if they only did it by accident.
When someone does enough good is, of course, entirely up to the person to determine. The only question is whether one cannot very easily and almost effortlessly do even more good.
People who realise that "doing good" is in our DNA will not settle for doing a bar shift at the sports club once a week or a monthly donation to charity. It has become an essential and natural part of their daily lives and that makes them extremely creative to continuously do even more good in various ways.
SMALL QUESTION:
What can you add as a most ordinary thing to what you already do good? Without costing you extra time or energy.
Some have more luck in life than others
Especially in the rich West, there are still people who believe that the less fortunate and needy are simply unlucky and that if you are born on a dime, you will never become a quarter. In other words, bad luck is also part of life. These statements are usually made by people who themselves were born into ample wealth and for whom doing good is not seen as necessary.
During the terrible stock market crash of 1929, there were more people depressed and more reports of suicide than ever before. Suddenly, the wealthy turned out not to be at all as resistant to bad luck and misfortune as those who had been born and raised in dire circumstances. They also suddenly no longer believed that bad luck is part of life.
People who sincerely do good especially cherish things that cannot be expressed in money such as friendships, health, family, and their loved ones, and grant everyone that one boost of luck. Especially when a lot of bad luck has been involved.
SMALL QUESTION:
How much bad luck or good fortune have you had in your life? And what would you award others? Are there ways in which you can offer others a little good fortune?
Chapter 4. Spirituality and doing good
As you have read, science has shown that everyone for whom you do good, including yourself, benefits from doing good. But for some, there are more reasons to do good every day than science. Namely, spirituality. Within most spiritual movements, people realize that life is a mirror of your own behaviour.
Karma and doing good
Another way of looking at life is the concept of karma. Literally this means "cause and effect," but different perspectives interpret karma slightly differently. For some, it means that what you do right or wrong in this life affects your next life, and others believe that karma only affects this life.
In the latter case, karma can be as simple as that you can expect a slap back if you are the first one to hit someone. But the same goes the other way around. You receive as much good as you give.
People who believe in karma with regard to the next life usually believe in the sum total of all your actions and thoughts during this life. That determines in what capacity you will come back and whether you will have a good life.
SMALL QUESTION:
Can you sum up in your life how many good deeds and not-so-good deeds you have done? Are you satisfied with the outcome?
Manifesting and doing good
People who believe in manifesting are convinced that everything you think and imagine affects our so-called 3D life here on earth. Dr. Joe Dispenza is a famous person who gives many lectures and courses on this. According to him, we live in a physical body as a spiritual entity connected to the universe we are helped by. Everything we think, dream, or imagine the universe sees as a wish that will be fulfilled. For example, according to the practitioners of manifestation, you can become extremely rich if you believe you are rich right now, and you can find your dream job if you believe you have it right now. He calls this remembering your future.
But according to him, the opposite is also true. Negative actions and thoughts also bring negative things into your life. Therefore, it is better to have positive thoughts according to the followers of manifesting. These positive thoughts usually automatically result in doing good deeds.
SMALL QUESTION:
What kind of positive society do you dream about and in what ways would you like to contribute to it? Could you do more to contribute to making this dream a reality?
Heaven and Hell
Most religions have some form of heaven and some form of hell. The latter is rarely pretty. That's not surprising, because if anything is grafted onto doing good during your earthly life, for others and yourself, it is 'faith'. This relates to what awaits you after you die. In a nutshell, if you do more good than bad (and ask forgiveness for your bad deeds) you will probably go to heaven or have a place reserved for you in paradise. If you do too intentionally bad and treat others badly during your lifetime without ever asking for forgiveness you will go to hell after you die.
SMALL QUESTION:
What is the smallest thing you can do today to make the world already a little more heavenly for everyone who lives here?
66 days of doing good to become better
You have come this far in reading and have now gained insight from science, religion, and spirituality as to why doing good is good for others as well as yourself. Therefore, once again the question: Do you dare to challenge yourself to create a better version of you by doing good?
Do you start to give a damn? Are you up to the challenge to create a better version of yourself by doing good?
It only takes you 66 days, because research shows that if a person does something in a disciplined way for 66 days, the behaviour will become a habit. This goes for dieting, exercising, yoga, quitting smoking, and anything else you want to change in your life or implement as a way of life. So too for giving a damn and doing good.
Below are 66 suggestions for doing good for the next 66 days. Choose 1 or more per day or make up a few of your own. After these days you are guaranteed to be a better version of yourself. And to prove it, we'll first ask you five questions. Afterward, ask the same questions again and you will notice the scores are higher.
Enter on a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high)
To what extent are you happy ____
To what extent are you satisfied in life ____
To what extent do you go through life confidently ____
To what extent are you optimistic ____
To what extent do good things come your way in life ___
Inspiration on how to do good:
Leave a note complimenting a stranger
Give a homeless person a haircut
Buy a gift for someone special
Plant a tree
Clean up trash from the sidewalk
Praise a co-worker for who she or he is and their work
Offer to help at the local church or mosque
Repair something that is broken in a friend's house
Help someone clean or tidy their home
Contact an old friend you have lost track of
Be the eyes of a person with a visual impairment
Share a meal with a stranger
Write a positive review about a local business
Give homework help to a poor student
Forgive someone you couldn't forgive before
Tell a child he or she is smart
Offer your professional services for a good cause
Smile at a stranger
Clean up a park (with friends)
Visit someone who is feeling lonely
Take 1 or more of your possessions to the thrift store
Give one or more of your books to someone
Donate your hair to a cancer charity
Sign up for first aid classes to save someone's life
Donate meals to a food bank
Visit chronically ill children in the hospital and play a game with them
Build a small free street library in your neighbourhood
Visit an animal shelter and compliment them on their great work
Give shelter to a refugee or homeless person
Organise a bingo night at a nursing home
Write a kind poem for a friend or family member
Start your own charity
Raise money among friends and family for a charity of your choice
Give a homeless person a coat, blanket, or scarf
Tell an elderly man or woman how beautiful or handsome they still look
Visit an orphanage and compliment them on their great work
Sign up for a charity run
Donate blood
Show your gratitude to your parents (can be in a letter)
Send someone a bouquet of (wild) flowers for no reason.
Donate a full gas tank to someone for no reason.
Offer someone your professional service for free
Visit a retirement home and have a nice chat with someone
Respond with something nice on social media
Write a positive review about a book you loved
Call a friend and tell them how much you appreciate them
Donate at least $5.00 to a charity you didn't know about yet
Take the trouble to walk someone's dog
Tell a new mother she is doing a great job
Clean up someone's mess at the store or at home.
Buy a meal for a homeless person
Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed
Hold the door open for someone
Help out for a day at the local school
Carry someone's bag of groceries from the store to the car
Donate 10% of your salary to a charity of your choice
Bake something delicious and donate it to a neighbor or co-worker
Donate clothes or toys to a charity
Give a stranger a compliment and mean it
Buy someone a lottery ticket
Baby-sit for free
Volunteer at an animal shelter
Buy someone a cup of coffee
Give a bill to a stranger and say they are a nice person
Follow a charity on social media
Sign an online petition
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is doing good considered essential?
Doing good is ingrained in human nature and benefits both the giver and receiver. It enhances one’s sense of happiness, satisfaction, and social connections, contributing to a more loving and peaceful society.
What are some simple ways to incorporate doing good into daily life?
Simple acts such as offering a compliment, helping someone in need, or donating to a charity can significantly impact others' lives and improve your well-being.
How does doing good affect one’s mental and physical health?
Engaging in acts of kindness releases feel-good hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, reducing stress levels and improving overall physical health.
Can doing good improve my social life?
Yes, doing good can enrich your social network by connecting you with like-minded individuals and increasing your social interactions, leading to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
How long does it take for doing good to become a habit?
Research indicates that if a person consciously engages in an activity for 66 days, it becomes a habit. This principle applies to doing good as well.
What role does spirituality play in the concept of doing good?
Many spiritual and religious beliefs align with the principle of doing good, emphasizing karma, manifesting positive outcomes, and the concept of reaping what you sow.
How can I start doing good today?
Begin with small, manageable acts of kindness and gradually incorporate more significant actions into your routine. Keep a positive mindset, and look for opportunities to help others in your daily life.
What are the barriers to doing good, and how can I overcome them?
Common barriers include a lack of time, resources, or awareness. Overcome these by prioritizing kindness, recognizing the abundance in your life, and understanding the profound impact even small acts can have.
Is there scientific evidence supporting the benefits of doing good?
Yes, numerous studies have shown that doing good can enhance mental health, decrease stress levels, and lead to a happier, more fulfilled life.
How can doing good influence society as a whole?
When individuals commit to doing good, it creates a ripple effect, encouraging others to act kindly. This collective action can lead to a more compassionate, understanding, and supportive society.
How does doing good without expecting anything in return affect the giver?
Doing good selflessly enriches the giver's life by fostering genuine happiness and satisfaction, independent of external rewards or recognition.
What are some examples of physical acts of kindness?
Physical acts of kindness can range from volunteering at local shelters, assisting someone with chores, to participating in community clean-up efforts. These actions not only benefit the recipients but can also provide the giver with a sense of purpose and community.
Can doing good impact one’s career or professional life?
Yes, engaging in acts of kindness and showing empathy in the workplace can improve leadership skills, enhance work relationships, and foster a positive work environment, potentially leading to greater professional success.
How can I measure the impact of my good deeds?
While the immediate impact of a good deed might not always be visible, the overall increase in personal happiness, satisfaction, and the positive feedback from those around you can serve as indicators of the positive impact of your actions.
Why is it important to challenge ourselves to do good regularly?
Challenging ourselves to engage in acts of kindness regularly helps to make compassion and generosity a core part of our identity. It transforms doing good from an occasional act to a habitual way of living, ultimately leading to personal growth and a more harmonious society.
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