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Writer's pictureBen Steenstra

The Art of Stress Management: From Overloaded to Recharged

Updated: 2 days ago

Stress is the worst counselor and the biggest cause of cardiovascular disease and other discomforts. Yet many people suffer from it, and around me especially the smaller entrepreneurs who are struggling at the moment. But even if your business or job does go well, you can experience a lot of stress.


My dishwasher broke down the other day and just the thought of washing dishes by hand every day stressed me out. The result was halfway through the week a whole pile of dirty plates, glasses, cups, and cutlery and an angry girlfriend because the dishes are my job in the household. So even more stress.



Often it is not at all due to the workload or the work itself, but to how you schedule it. In other words, time management to avoid stress.


Do what stresses you out at agreed times

Someone I mentor has a large, exclusive beauty clinic. She loves the work and most clients, but everything around it stresses her out. Clients rescheduling appointments, wanting discounts because the treatment was not up to expectations, administration, staff spontaneously calling in sick, and so on. It gives her stress throughout the day and also makes her communicate with everyone from morning to night.


This means that, except during her sleep, she faces negative stimuli all day long, and doing so for too long in a row can cause serious mental and even physical symptoms. In her case, she becomes very short-tempered and needs a lot of rest and little energy for a social life. These are signs that incipient burnout may be coming.

   

Now, of course, she cannot make a client who wants to reschedule an appointment wait a day. But about 80 percent of the responses she gives to clients or employees can wait. The advantage if you do all those things at a time is that you will then have mostly positive impulses the rest of the time.


In fact, the problem is that negative impulses discharge you and positive impulses charge you. But just as a positive impulse makes you resistant to a negative impulse, a negative impulse makes the positive impulse less powerful or not received at all.


Doing the thing that stresses you out within a certain time frame gives your body and mind time to recover and recharge, and you will also do the things that need to be done more efficiently.


Reframe the meaning you give to negative things

Those dishes I have to do for a while, it's only a 2-person wash, of course, doesn't represent anything. It is only the image I have of it and thus the meaning I give to it. For instance, I find it an interruption of my time that I want to spend together after dinner, the water is always too cold or too hot, I never get the glasses properly dried, and I am a mess pilot, so a glass always falls into the water in shards. Just try to get that out without cuts!


If I reframe this to how nice my girlfriend, who does most of the housework, thinks it is that I also do my bit, doing the dishes is a lot less of a problem. In addition, if I give it the meaning that I can also catch up with my friend while doing the dishes, and that it takes less than 10 minutes and then the kitchen is all tidy again because I can also clean the rest with the suds, then doing the dishes is almost a party. 


In the same way, it can work with the things that annoy the lady who runs the exclusive beauty clinic. That customer who wants to reschedule can provide excellent service, and that customer who was not satisfied at first, when is satisfied again, can provide huge word-of-mouth advertising. So she is actually working on her brand. The employees are her greatest asset and she can bond with them even more through a little time and attention, thus ensuring her continuity.


Every medal has two sides 

Actually, we do know: everything that is fun also has a downside. Besides time management and reframing, it is therefore also important to accept. After all, we cannot just enjoy the joys and ignore the burdens. Having a child is great, but the poopy nappy has to be changed too, right?


But accepting is different from tolerating. It is stronger, and true acceptance reduces the stress you experience while doing the activity. It's like being in a traffic jam: you know it's like that, you can't change it, and getting angry about it will only make it annoy you even more. Take a deep breath, undergo it. Sing a song to it, for all I care, but accept it.


The power of acceptance lies in the ability to accommodate negative experiences without them permanently affecting our well-being. By embracing both the good and the not-so-good sides of situations, we can live a more balanced and stress-free life. Acceptance also helps us to be more realistic in our expectations and find more satisfaction in the here and now. It is an essential part of personal growth and resilience.


The Heavy Toll of Chronic Stress on the Mind and Body

But now let’s talk about situations that can truly cause us stress. For example, losing your job and, after 150 applications, still not having found a new one while bills keep piling up. That’s certainly not something most people can remain indifferent about.


These kinds of stressors can have a huge impact on someone’s life, but not only that. Stress can also have a tremendous effect on your body.


When an individual experiences stress, the body initiates a series of physiological responses known as the "fight or flight" response. This involves the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, leading to increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and heightened alertness. These reactions prepare the body to respond to perceived threats.


If stress persists over an extended period, it becomes chronic. Chronic stress keeps the body in a constant state of alertness, resulting in prolonged exposure to stress hormones. This sustained activation can disrupt various bodily systems, including the immune, digestive, cardiovascular, sleep, and reproductive systems.


The consequences of chronic stress are significant and can include:


  • Cardiovascular issues: Increased risk of hypertension, heart disease, and stroke.

  • Mental health disorders: Elevated likelihood of developing anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders.

  • Digestive problems: Symptoms such as stomach pain, bloating, and nausea.

  • Weakened immune system: Reduced ability to fight off infections, leading to increased susceptibility to illnesses.

  • Sleep disturbances: Difficulties in falling or staying asleep, contributing to fatigue and decreased cognitive function.


8 Highly Effective Methods to Reduce Stress

While each of the following methods is scientifically proven to reduce stress, the most effective approach often depends on personal preference. Finding the strategies that resonate best with you will have the greatest impact on your overall well-being.


Surround yourself with friends

Being near people you love has a calming effect on us as humans, both physically and mentally. Additionally, talking about your situation or the event you experienced can help you gain perspective, and discussing other topics can help take your mind off what is happening or has happened.


Surround yourself with friends

When we connect with friends or loved ones, our brain releases oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone" or "love hormone." Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, comfort, and relaxation, which helps counteract the effects of stress hormones like cortisol. Additionally, sharing experiences with others allows for cognitive processing and emotional validation, helping to put events into perspective.


This social interaction reduces feelings of isolation and helps mitigate the physiological impacts of stress, contributing to better mental and physical health.


Hug a Loved One or Pet

When we hug another person or a pet, our body releases oxytocin, often known as the "bonding hormone" or "cuddle hormone." This hormone fosters feelings of connection, trust, and calm.


Hug a Loved One or Pet

Oxytocin helps counteract the effects of stress hormones like cortisol, which are released when we’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Hugging or touching a pet or loved one provides a comforting physical presence that can create a sense of security and warmth.


Additionally, oxytocin release during a hug has physical benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate, both of which can rise under stress. This physical closeness also reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation, which are often associated with increased stress. Thus, regular contact with loved ones or pets supports both mental and physical health, helping to create a natural buffer against daily stresses.


Exercise or Take a Walk

It doesn’t matter what type of movement you choose, whether it’s a quick walk with your dog or running a half marathon. Physical activity is not only healthy; it also reduces stress.


Exercise or Take a Walk

When we exercise, our body releases endorphins, often called "feel-good hormones." These natural chemicals act as mood boosters, creating a sense of well-being and reducing feelings of pain or discomfort. Exercise also decreases levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, helping to calm the body’s stress response. Engaging in physical activity allows the mind to focus on the present moment, which can provide a mental break from worries or stressful thoughts.


Additionally, regular physical activity can improve sleep quality, increase self-confidence, and enhance resilience against future stressors. So, whether it’s a walk in nature or an intense workout, moving your body supports both mental and physical well-being, creating a positive cycle that helps combat stress.


Take a Deep Breath and Practice Yoga

Exercises such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga help to calm the mind and reduce stress. The key, of course, is to perform meditation and all yoga exercises with full awareness. It’s not about the poses themselves but rather about the awareness of your body.


Take a Deep Breath and Practice Yoga

Practicing deep breathing and mindfulness-based exercises like yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the "rest and digest" system. This activation counteracts the body’s stress response by lowering heart rate, reducing blood pressure, and slowing down breathing. Conscious breathing techniques and yoga encourage a state of relaxation, allowing the body to release built-up tension.


The focus on awareness rather than perfection in yoga is essential because mindfulness—the practice of staying present with each movement and breath—shifts attention away from stressors and brings the mind to the current moment. This heightened awareness helps to interrupt the cycle of anxious thoughts, allowing for a calmer state of mind. Over time, such practices can build resilience to stress, improve focus, and create a greater sense of balance and connection between mind and body.


Know What You Eat and Drink

Stress often makes us crave foods and drinks that aren’t actually good for us.


Know What You Eat and Drink

When we’re stressed, we tend to reach for “comfort foods,” which are often high in sugar, fat, or salt. These types of foods can temporarily elevate levels of dopamine and serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitters, which helps us feel better momentarily.


However, sugary and fatty foods can lead to spikes and crashes in blood sugar levels, which actually increases stress in the long term. Similarly, high-salt foods can contribute to high blood pressure and increased tension in the body.


You don’t need to become a health fanatic, but paying attention to what you eat can make a big difference in the levels of stress you experience.


Take Up a Hobby

A hobby can be extremely effective for reducing stress, as long as it’s something you genuinely enjoy doing. Knitting 500 scarfs or making a sculpture just because you think it might reduce your stress may help a little, but it’s not the true solution. The key is to truly enjoy what you’re doing.


Take Up a Hobby

Engaging in a hobby you love allows you to enter a "flow state," where you become fully immersed in the activity, losing track of time and letting go of stress-inducing thoughts. This immersion shifts your focus away from worries and responsibilities, giving your brain a mental break and a chance to recharge. Additionally, doing something enjoyable and fulfilling boosts dopamine, the “reward” neurotransmitter, which naturally elevates mood and counters stress.


Hobbies also provide a sense of achievement and self-expression, which helps build resilience and self-worth over time. So, whether it’s gardening, painting, playing an instrument, or cooking, the simple pleasure of a beloved hobby can be a powerful tool for managing stress and enhancing overall well-being.


Get Enough Quality Sleep

Sleep is one of the most effective yet often overlooked ways to manage stress. When we’re under stress, our bodies need time to recover, and quality sleep is essential for this recovery process.


Get Enough Quality Sleep

During sleep, the brain processes and consolidates memories and emotions, which can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional resilience. Deep sleep also allows the body to repair and recharge, strengthening the immune system and balancing hormone levels, including stress hormones like cortisol. Inadequate sleep, on the other hand, increases irritability, lowers focus, and even amplifies the body's stress response.


Practicing good sleep hygiene—such as setting a consistent sleep schedule, avoiding caffeine and screens before bed, and creating a relaxing bedtime routine—can make a big difference in sleep quality. With regular, restful sleep, we can tackle stressful situations with a clearer mind and a greater sense of calm, making it an invaluable foundation for managing stress effectively.


Consider Working with a Coach

Coaching can be a highly effective way to manage stress, especially when you feel stuck or overwhelmed. A coach provides guidance, tools, and support tailored to your unique situation, helping you identify sources of stress, understand your responses to it, and develop personalized strategies for managing it.


Consider Working with a Coach

One of the key benefits of working with a coach is gaining an objective perspective. Coaches are trained to ask insightful questions that encourage you to see your stressors from new angles and to challenge negative thought patterns. This shift in perspective can lead to more effective problem-solving and help reduce the sense of pressure that stress often brings. Coaches also assist in setting realistic goals, breaking down large tasks into manageable steps, and developing healthier coping mechanisms.


Additionally, a coach can offer accountability and encouragement, helping you maintain consistent progress. Through regular sessions, you’ll build resilience, improve self-awareness, and develop skills to manage future stress more effectively. For many, coaching provides both structure and support, creating a powerful foundation for lasting change and well-being.


Q&A


What is stress?

Stress is a reaction of the body to challenges or threats. It is a natural alarm mechanism that helps you cope with difficult situations, but too much stress can be detrimental to your health.


Why do we perceive stress as negative?

Although stress is a natural and sometimes useful response, we often experience it as negative because it can exhaust us physically and mentally. Prolonged stress can lead to health problems such as cardiovascular disease, anxiety disorders, and depression.


How can time management help reduce stress?

Answer: Managing your time effectively helps you avoid overwhelm, prioritize, and achieve realistic goals. This reduces the pressure and feeling of not having enough time, which can be a major source of stress.


What does it mean to reframe the meaning of negative experiences?

Reframing means giving a different interpretation or perspective to a situation. By changing the meaning of negative experiences, you can see them in a more positive light and reduce their emotional impact.


How can acceptance contribute to stress reduction?

Acceptance means acknowledging that some situations are beyond your control and stopping fighting against reality. This can help reduce the inner struggle and therefore stress.


Can you eliminate stress completely from your life?

It is unrealistic to expect to eliminate all stress because some stressors are beyond your control and stress is also a part of life. The goal is to manage stress better, not to avoid it completely.

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