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Writer's pictureBen Steenstra

Unmasking High Sensitive People: Time for Clarity and Growth

Updated: Jul 12

High Sensitivity: A term that has been thrown around way too much in recent years. About 20% of the population is said to be highly sensitive, which means they are more sensitive to stimuli and process information more deeply. Sounds special, right? But what if I tell you that it's actually a fad? Let's take a step back and ask ourselves: is high sensitivity really a unique trait, or is it a modern label that hides problems rather than solves them?


The 'problems' that supposedly highly sensitive people experience might indeed be linked to sensitivity, but often cognitive distortions and a lack of resilience, self-esteem, self-confidence, and many other factors play a bigger role.


By simply labeling them as highly sensitive, we miss the chance to address the real causes. Dare to read on and reconsider your perspective?


The Constructed Concept of High Sensitivity

Let's call it what it is: high sensitivity is an easy way to label a complex problem without really getting to the core. It might sound like a special gift, but in reality, it's often a collection of challenges that everyone can experience.


Do you really think these people feel or see more than others? No, they just focus more on it. And there's nothing wrong with that, unless it causes you stress. While ‘normal’ people learn to deal with stimuli by ignoring them or effectively managing them, supposedly highly sensitive people seem to get stuck.


Not because of their so-called super sensitivity, but due to a lack of skills such as resilience and self-confidence. It's time we stop giving them a label that provides an excuse to feel special or pitiful, and instead focus on what really matters: developing healthy ways to deal with life.


Cognitive Distortions and Their Impact

Let's look at an important aspect that is often overlooked: cognitive distortions. These are distorted ways of thinking that our brain uses to interpret reality, often in unhelpful ways. Supposedly highly sensitive people can be particularly prone to these. Think of catastrophic thinking, where you make a mountain out of a molehill, or black-and-white thinking, where you see things only in extreme terms. These distortions can keep you constantly overstimulated and stressed.


The problem is not that these people see or feel more, but how they process what they see and feel. Instead of labeling themselves as highly sensitive, it would be much more useful to learn how to recognize and address these distorted thinking patterns. This is not just about surviving in a stimulus-rich world, but about developing mental resilience and flexibility. We need to shift the focus from the label to the underlying mechanisms that can actually be addressed.


Resilience, Self-Esteem, and Self-Confidence

Let's be honest: we live in a world that is fast, demanding, and sometimes downright ruthless. Instead of labeling people as highly sensitive and giving them an excuse to isolate themselves, we need to arm them with the tools to stand strong. Resilience, self-esteem, and self-confidence are the key words here. People who consider themselves highly sensitive often lack these crucial skills.


Resilience is about the ability to deal with setbacks and recover from them. It's the difference between crumbling under pressure and bouncing back like a spring. Self-esteem and self-confidence give you the inner strength to believe in your own abilities and not be overwhelmed by external stimuli. These traits can be developed and strengthened, regardless of how sensitive you think you are.


Instead of telling people they are special and different because they are highly sensitive, we need to teach them how to build their self-esteem, increase their self-confidence, and become more resilient. These are the real superpowers that anyone can develop, and they are much more effective than carrying a label.


Acceptance, Tolerance, and Learning to Deal with Life

Life is full of challenges, and the ability to accept and deal with them is essential. People who label themselves as highly sensitive would benefit from developing acceptance and tolerance. This doesn’t mean they have to learn to swallow everything, but they need to understand that not everything is within their control. Acceptance is about acknowledging reality without being overwhelmed by it.


The label ‘highly sensitive’ is nothing more than a self-imposed prison that hinders personal growth.

Tolerance plays an important role in how we react to the world around us. Where supposedly highly sensitive people sometimes struggle to tolerate stimuli and changes, ‘normal’ people often deal better with the same situations by adopting a flexible attitude. It's not that one group sees or feels more than the other, but how they learn to respond to what they see and feel.


Learning to deal with life also means we need to stop labeling people. The label ‘highly sensitive’ can become a trap where people lock themselves in, instead of focusing on personal growth. By focusing on acceptance, tolerance, and effective coping strategies, people can discover and utilize their true potential without hiding behind a label that limits their development.


The Argument of Spirituality and the Perception of Energy

Let’s talk about the argument of spirituality and the feeling of energy. You often hear people say: “Yes, but I’m spiritual and you’re not, that’s why I’m highly sensitive.” This idea that you can feel another person’s energy is often used to justify high sensitivity. But let’s be honest: usually, it’s the words someone says or the tone and attitude with which they are said that elicit a reaction.


A supposedly highly sensitive person will then say: “Yes, but I felt so bad about it. The energy didn’t feel right.” But what they’re actually experiencing is a normal human reaction to non-verbal communication. It’s not about mystical sensitivity, but about how words and tone have an impact. The label of high sensitivity is misused here to elevate a normal, understandable reaction to something special.


Instead of saying the energy didn’t feel right and feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to learn how to deal with it. Life is full of situations where you will feel uncomfortable because of what others say or do. The trick is not to flee or give yourself a special label, but to learn to deal with it. Learn to handle discomfort, develop your resilience, and stop hiding behind the label of high sensitivity. That’s what real maturity is.


Being Spiritual Has Nothing to Do with High Sensitivity

Let’s be clear about what it means to be truly spiritual. True spirituality is not about avoiding negative energy or shutting yourself off from uncomfortable situations. On the contrary, people who are truly spiritual have learned to deal with all kinds of energy, positive or negative. They have developed the inner peace and strength to not be influenced by the words or behavior of others, even when someone behaves exceptionally badly.


True spirituality means being able to stand firm in the eye of the storm without losing your balance. It means being able to recognize, accept, and transform negative energy without being overwhelmed by it. So what do you really mean by ‘highly sensitive’? If you are truly spiritual, you are not affected by the energy or behavior of others. You have the tools and insight to tackle and overcome these challenges.


High sensitivity, as it is often defined today, seems to be a way to identify yourself with vulnerability instead of strength. True spirituality is about strengthening your inner self so that you can cope with the world around you without feeling overwhelmed. It’s time to reassess the label of high sensitivity and recognize that true spiritual growth means being able to handle any situation, regardless of the energy it brings.


How Can We Effectively Support 'High Sensitive' People?

So, how can we truly help people if we leave the label ‘highly sensitive’ behind? It starts with developing stronger coping mechanisms and promoting personal growth. Instead of telling people they are special and vulnerable, we need to give them the tools to become more resilient. This means investing in therapy and coaching focused on strengthening resilience, self-confidence, acceptance, tolerance, and leadership.


Practical interventions can range from cognitive behavioral therapy to address distorted thinking patterns, to mindfulness and meditation to promote inner peace. Additionally, assertiveness training can help people better handle conflicts and set personal boundaries. The goal is to teach people how to effectively deal with life’s challenges without labeling themselves as highly sensitive.


By shifting the focus from the label to the underlying mechanisms that can be addressed, we offer a path to true empowerment. This allows people to not only survive but thrive in a world full of stimuli and challenges. It’s time to take responsibility for our own growth and stop creating problems by unnecessarily labeling ourselves.


The Dangers of the ‘Highly Sensitive’ Label

The label ‘highly sensitive’ may initially seem reassuring and explanatory, but it also brings significant dangers. By labeling people as highly sensitive, we give them an identity based on vulnerability and exceptionality. This can encourage them to hide behind their sensitivity instead of developing their own resilience and strength.


Another danger is that this label often becomes an excuse to avoid personal growth and confronting one’s own weaknesses. People may feel entitled to special treatment or exceptions because of their high sensitivity. This can lead to a vicious cycle of self-limitation and dependency, instead of self-improvement and independence.


Moreover, the label ‘highly sensitive’ can obscure the real causes of their problems. By focusing on supposedly inherent sensitivity, we often ignore underlying cognitive distortions, lack of coping skills, and the need for personal development. This leads to treating symptoms rather than addressing core issues.


It’s time to critically examine this label and focus on what really matters: helping people become stronger, more resilient, and self-confident. By focusing on developing practical skills and mental resilience, we can support people in a way that allows them to reach their full potential without being limited by a misleading label.


Truly Highly Sensitive: My Personal Experience

Let’s set the record straight: I absolutely believe there are people who are truly highly sensitive. I have personally experienced people who can feel things others cannot, foresee the future, or sense entities in spaces where others notice nothing special. These people have unique gifts and experiences that regular science often cannot explain. But here’s the catch: these people absolutely do not want to be labeled as ‘highly sensitive’. They see their sensitivity as a strength, not a weakness.


So how credible is it that according to science, 20% of the population is highly sensitive? Complete nonsense. The truly highly sensitive make up a tiny fraction of the population, and their experiences are far more intense and profound than what is described in popular literature. The idea that one in five people has this special sensitivity is a fad, an easy way out for everyday problems that need to be addressed differently. Let’s stop with this silly label and recognize that true high sensitivity is something entirely different. The current use of the term only undermines the real gifts of those who are genuinely highly sensitive.


True spirituality is about strength, not vulnerability. So stop with the high sensitivity nonsense and learn how to be truly spiritual.

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